Pink

One of my favourite RPM tracks (I have a lot of favourites - mostly "4"s and "6"s as it happens) is Sober by Pink.  It is on my nano pod.  I've never placed it as a request though.  It's too close to the bone, or at least it was.


I was nervous today.  I had a "contractors" function to attend at  "Atlantic".   A drinks/networking thing.  Part of me didn't want to go.  However, as a contractor its kind of an essential act required.   Fortunately, I had a "wing man" -  the "young guy" who I sits next door to me at work, and is on a 3 month contract like I am with the same agency.  He is 25 years old, and likes rainbows and butterflies.  The young Chinese analyst in our team has taught him to say this, and apparently he can say it very fluently in Mandarin.  One of the reasons for this is his major is German.   So, he is good at languages.  We both started on the same day, both have previously worked for the Ministry of Health, and it turns out we both speak German (although he is more fluent than I am), both like classical music and dance/remix music.  He's been a good influence on me in a strange way, as he's quite into eating healthily, although I'm not sure introducing me to $12 raw chocolate from the Organic shop was such a great idea - at least financially.   Anyway, because he is into the health thing he doesn't really drink alcohol.  Conversationally, he's socially competent, so, he's pretty much the perfect wing man - at least in terms of a young wing man!

I'm not really sure I needed a wing man tonight, but it helped knowing I had one.  All afternoon, I had these thoughts, "will I drink or not - maybe one drink".  The thing is I can just have one drink, or two drinks and stay in control.  I know that.  But I still have to think about it.   On arrival the young guy and I were asked what we wanted to drink.  We both said orange juice.  When my "pimp" (that's the guy who takes a commission on my hourly rate, but does find me work:-)) asked me if I wanted a refill I went for the soda water.  The thing that was driving my decision was why would I want to work out at the gym today, and then undo that by adding calories, and not being able to work out maximally tomorrow.  It felt good to be in control.

The best bit of the evening was this though:  I was talking to my pimp when he nodded toward the entrance way.  He said "now there's a lady you could learn a lot from".  I looked at the lady, and then said "I know".  Brilliant.  The "Buddha lady" had walked in the room.  We had previously worked together for about a year or so in workplace that didn't have a lot to recommend it.  I had a lot of time for the Buddha lady.  She coped with our odd workplace by chanting Buddha stuff.  She'd prepare for meetings with the manager we had at the time, by going out to chant first.  The Buddha lady used to drink green tea, and order magic mushrooms or something off the Internet and other random stuff that always amused me.   We had some interesting conversations during the time we worked together.  I made it clear she would never convert me to Buddhism because that's not my faith, but that didn't stop her.  She tried again sort of tonight - recommending I chant for my next contract!  So, you know, we knew each other well in workplace terms.

When she met me tonight, she uttered those magic words that reminded me I am making progress "I didn't recognise you"  And then she added, "you look like you've had a load lifted from you".

One the way home on the train, I reflected that well yeah, the last time I met the Buddha lady I was almost 30kg heavier than I am now, my hair was long and scruffy, and I used to wear my glasses most of the time.  Those are the cosmetic differences.  But the difference really is I have lessened the load of what was really weighing me down.

As for RPM - its all about taking "the load" but in a healthy way.

I'm glad I went to Alantic or Atlanta whatever it is called tonight.  It actually made me feel good to be reminded I am making progress.  I still wont be converting to Buddhism though!