Got to the gym and rpm 55. First rpm workout in about 5-6 weeks. Man I feel for those All Blacks when they get injured. Although they do have the advantage of a structured rehab programme.
The Young American was in good form. I think she recognised I was taking it easy. But man just lasting 45 minutes on the bike for a full session felt like it was enough today - and a victory. There is still some strain on my right leg, so to cope with this I reduced the intensity. I'd say the knee/leg is about 85%.
Nice music. Its not optimal when you cant work at full capacity. But at least its a start on the way back.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Mittwoch
Funny day today. My acting Manager asked if I would be available for a 3 month extension, the caveat being it would be a three month extension, but not working on the project I have worked on for the last year or so.
So, you know, I said yes. And then tonight on the train I thought about the time this lovely man sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I had ever recieved and tickets to Simply Red - (it was in the 90s!) and despite the fact that I LOVE beautiful flowers and Simply Red, you know, it wasn't enough. NB, he subsequently became very, very rich. But it wasn't enought at that time. And that's what I thought of today, that memory from 20 or so years ago....
The colleague I respect most, and the reason why I took the job with my current employer, left today for a month's holdiay biking in Vietnam and Cambodia.
Now I feel I have to step into her shoes, or at least step up. That will be good in some ways.
But there remain things I am not happy about. Things that do not sit well within regarding my workplace. So I struggle: is the easy option to walk away? or is the harder option to stay?
Anyway, booked in for rpm tomorrow. Knee probably about at 90%. But I need to get back to RPM~!
So, you know, I said yes. And then tonight on the train I thought about the time this lovely man sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I had ever recieved and tickets to Simply Red - (it was in the 90s!) and despite the fact that I LOVE beautiful flowers and Simply Red, you know, it wasn't enough. NB, he subsequently became very, very rich. But it wasn't enought at that time. And that's what I thought of today, that memory from 20 or so years ago....
The colleague I respect most, and the reason why I took the job with my current employer, left today for a month's holdiay biking in Vietnam and Cambodia.
Now I feel I have to step into her shoes, or at least step up. That will be good in some ways.
But there remain things I am not happy about. Things that do not sit well within regarding my workplace. So I struggle: is the easy option to walk away? or is the harder option to stay?
Anyway, booked in for rpm tomorrow. Knee probably about at 90%. But I need to get back to RPM~!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Gardening and the gym
Grabbed my "trackies' this morning in a rush. They are longer and warmer than my "shorts". Only problem is I forgot they are also my gardening trackies, so when I got to the gym today and looked down at my knees there was the evidene on the knee parts of having spent a good part of yesterday crawling on my knees under the feijoa trees - getting the last of the harvest in. Fortunately, they are dark blue, and someone would have had to got quite close to really notice. Lockwood did get quite close actually, but fortunately not that close. It still remains one of lifes puzzles how we circle each other often around the same weight machines! - although I've never seen him on the leg press! But yeah, he does have a good body. Goodness knows what he thinks of me!
The thing I'm actually usually pretty meticulus about having clean gear and towels and all that. But oh well, not today.
Did some x trainer, cycling at a low intensity and some upper body weights. Purchased 10 rpm sessions in the expectation I will be back in the rpm room soon. Can feel my knee and leg tonight. But I've decided I kind of need to get back into it - awaken it and stretch it out back to being normal - while not being silly about eh.
Its not really a smart training progamme, but for now, the important thing is just actually keeping to the pattern of getting to the gym.
I'm sure my clothes are tighter and all that - the result of suspending the gym programme, and non smart eating.
Anyway, life does feel better after a gym workout :-) even if its not a high intensity workout.
The thing I'm actually usually pretty meticulus about having clean gear and towels and all that. But oh well, not today.
Did some x trainer, cycling at a low intensity and some upper body weights. Purchased 10 rpm sessions in the expectation I will be back in the rpm room soon. Can feel my knee and leg tonight. But I've decided I kind of need to get back into it - awaken it and stretch it out back to being normal - while not being silly about eh.
Its not really a smart training progamme, but for now, the important thing is just actually keeping to the pattern of getting to the gym.
I'm sure my clothes are tighter and all that - the result of suspending the gym programme, and non smart eating.
Anyway, life does feel better after a gym workout :-) even if its not a high intensity workout.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Downward Dog
Made it to Body Balance today. I think I enjoyed it more than last time. Partly because I wasn't having to think quite so much, even though it was a different set. Commenced with a nice soft remix version of Bob Marley's redemption. It was apparently BB release 53. and 54 is coming, which eek hello means there will be another release of RPM coming too,
Good to see the BBL- even though we don't speak much, we speak a little. It still unnerves me when I catch her in class checking out my moves!
Its fair to say my downward dog is more like a barking dog, and my graceful swan is like an ugly duckling with a sore knee. But I do what my body allows me to do.
But hey, the BBL was emphasising today its all about being comfortable in your space.
Yeah, I liked today. I create my own little (or large actually) moves for those moves I physically can't manage, and thats how I do it.
I can feel my legs now. But in that good way.
Good to see the BBL- even though we don't speak much, we speak a little. It still unnerves me when I catch her in class checking out my moves!
Its fair to say my downward dog is more like a barking dog, and my graceful swan is like an ugly duckling with a sore knee. But I do what my body allows me to do.
But hey, the BBL was emphasising today its all about being comfortable in your space.
Yeah, I liked today. I create my own little (or large actually) moves for those moves I physically can't manage, and thats how I do it.
I can feel my legs now. But in that good way.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Headwinds
Another educational day...So, yeah the last few months have been pretty stressful at work. And the last month has been stressful at work, and stressful personally, because I haven't been relieving that stress physically through rpm and the gym.
Today, though it felt like I was no longer riding against the wind - that somehow the wind was finally on my back.
The man with 50 pair of jeans and I had a 1:1. It's fair to say I've been at times angry and pisssed off with over the last few weeks, and I still consider him a "naughty" social worker - who likes the circle of chaos and then solving it, but we had a bit of a reconsilatory session today, and that was good because I was able to see all his good qualities again - and his good qualities are good. Basically, I think he conceded that some of the project managers behaviour has been unacceptable and unprofessional, and that I have been caught in the crosswinds of it all.
I found myself saying to the man with 50 pairs of jeans, I didn't care what the project manager thought of me, and no obligation to defend myself or work history to her, after the meeting we had on Tuesday where she was rude and showed no respect - not even to agree to disagree. The weird thing is, that felt so empowering to say that. Cos it was like I wasn't saying stuff about the project manager, it was more in saying I know who I am, I know what's important to me, and what I value. Not what I don't respect. But rather what I do. And you know, that's where the man with 50 pairs of jeans is good. He created that opportunity to allow me to say that, and it felt far more empowering than I ever thought it would, so you know, I'm grateful for that.
I said I did actually care what the man with 50 pairs of jeans thinks and other people think.
Later in the day the colleague I respect most advised she has secured a secondment. It potentially opens some possibility to stay with the team I am working with. I am not sure how I feel about that.
I'll take it day by day. My colleague in any case is going on a months leave riding her bike in Cambodia!
Had lunch with J, who actually worked in Cambodia for quite a few years. We worked together at Hutt Valley Health. Weird, but it was nice to hear her voice, see her properly for lunch after several years. I;m not sure completely why. Part of it though is reminding me of a time when I was more connected to my creative side, and that also corresponded with being the last time I was actually almost a weight I would be happy with. It was good to make those connects.
Pretty stuffed now after today! Will keep some decent sleep now, and RESOLVED to FINALLY get to Body Balance tomorrow.
Today, though it felt like I was no longer riding against the wind - that somehow the wind was finally on my back.
The man with 50 pair of jeans and I had a 1:1. It's fair to say I've been at times angry and pisssed off with over the last few weeks, and I still consider him a "naughty" social worker - who likes the circle of chaos and then solving it, but we had a bit of a reconsilatory session today, and that was good because I was able to see all his good qualities again - and his good qualities are good. Basically, I think he conceded that some of the project managers behaviour has been unacceptable and unprofessional, and that I have been caught in the crosswinds of it all.
I found myself saying to the man with 50 pairs of jeans, I didn't care what the project manager thought of me, and no obligation to defend myself or work history to her, after the meeting we had on Tuesday where she was rude and showed no respect - not even to agree to disagree. The weird thing is, that felt so empowering to say that. Cos it was like I wasn't saying stuff about the project manager, it was more in saying I know who I am, I know what's important to me, and what I value. Not what I don't respect. But rather what I do. And you know, that's where the man with 50 pairs of jeans is good. He created that opportunity to allow me to say that, and it felt far more empowering than I ever thought it would, so you know, I'm grateful for that.
I said I did actually care what the man with 50 pairs of jeans thinks and other people think.
Later in the day the colleague I respect most advised she has secured a secondment. It potentially opens some possibility to stay with the team I am working with. I am not sure how I feel about that.
I'll take it day by day. My colleague in any case is going on a months leave riding her bike in Cambodia!
Had lunch with J, who actually worked in Cambodia for quite a few years. We worked together at Hutt Valley Health. Weird, but it was nice to hear her voice, see her properly for lunch after several years. I;m not sure completely why. Part of it though is reminding me of a time when I was more connected to my creative side, and that also corresponded with being the last time I was actually almost a weight I would be happy with. It was good to make those connects.
Pretty stuffed now after today! Will keep some decent sleep now, and RESOLVED to FINALLY get to Body Balance tomorrow.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Knee Update
I went to see my Frau Doktor today. So I describe how for at least a couple of weeks it felt like I had a golf ball behind my knee - but now its like a giant marble. She says "oh, you must have had a cyst". Like, kia ora for that Dr. She asks if it has popped. Ah no. Anyway, that probably explains why the knee has taken a little longer to heal.
But anyway, it's not all about the physical healing right now. It's about managing my mental and spiritual health. So, the consult did help in that respect. Cos yeah it is about holistic health.
I had a full on 1:3 meeting today at work - that's me, two managers and the project manager discussing how we work together. Crikey. It was supposed to be the whanau hui meeting, but the project manager, and the managers changed the rules. Anyway, I handled it ok, in fact I was prettty proud of myself re how I handled it. Once I let go of the turmoil and angst I can actaully do those meetings. Although its not really a competeny I wish to gain experience. Although its basic relationship management. So I suppose it does strengthen that competency.
The only positive outcome is the project manager revealed their true colours. Is that a victory? No, not really. The victory for me today is only in that I kept as much to my own rules of work - re keeping it to the issues and not the person...
I also had lunch with my colleague who I have a lot of repsect for. That was good becasue we went to KM park and just talked. And that helped me to keep perspective on my "wig out" last Friday. She recognised it was a sympton of the stress I have been under - we have both been under stress. But you know, in the weeks that have been, it helps to be reminded that ok Friday was a bad day, but overall not a reflection of my competence. I needed to hear that, beasue it is easy to let self doubt creep in.
Should have a free lunchtime tomorrow. Probably wont make it to rpm. But do intened to make it to the gym.
My heart beat faster when my colleague and I walked to KM park. There was a group doing outside boxing. And I thought, yeah, I'd love to be doing that. I said that to my colleague. But I don't think she actually realised how seriously I was about that!
Although I don't need to box right now to get rid of the anger, its just pure physical release where the boxing thing helps, and the rhythm required to do it well.
A reminder though I love that stuff, and also I do actually need to "box clever" re seeing my contract out.
Oh yeah, I missed an entry at the weekend. Went for a swim at Masterton last Saturday. It was good. I think it dd help my knee. I did though have to share the spa with a group of boys that may or may not have been first fifteen rugby boys. I felt like their Mum. They were a nice group of boys though - too focussed on their coach telling them to get in the spa, the pool and the sauna, as some form of conditioning. I think I looked at te boys puzzled - they looked at me puzzled. But it was OK actually!
But anyway, it's not all about the physical healing right now. It's about managing my mental and spiritual health. So, the consult did help in that respect. Cos yeah it is about holistic health.
I had a full on 1:3 meeting today at work - that's me, two managers and the project manager discussing how we work together. Crikey. It was supposed to be the whanau hui meeting, but the project manager, and the managers changed the rules. Anyway, I handled it ok, in fact I was prettty proud of myself re how I handled it. Once I let go of the turmoil and angst I can actaully do those meetings. Although its not really a competeny I wish to gain experience. Although its basic relationship management. So I suppose it does strengthen that competency.
The only positive outcome is the project manager revealed their true colours. Is that a victory? No, not really. The victory for me today is only in that I kept as much to my own rules of work - re keeping it to the issues and not the person...
I also had lunch with my colleague who I have a lot of repsect for. That was good becasue we went to KM park and just talked. And that helped me to keep perspective on my "wig out" last Friday. She recognised it was a sympton of the stress I have been under - we have both been under stress. But you know, in the weeks that have been, it helps to be reminded that ok Friday was a bad day, but overall not a reflection of my competence. I needed to hear that, beasue it is easy to let self doubt creep in.
Should have a free lunchtime tomorrow. Probably wont make it to rpm. But do intened to make it to the gym.
My heart beat faster when my colleague and I walked to KM park. There was a group doing outside boxing. And I thought, yeah, I'd love to be doing that. I said that to my colleague. But I don't think she actually realised how seriously I was about that!
Although I don't need to box right now to get rid of the anger, its just pure physical release where the boxing thing helps, and the rhythm required to do it well.
A reminder though I love that stuff, and also I do actually need to "box clever" re seeing my contract out.
Oh yeah, I missed an entry at the weekend. Went for a swim at Masterton last Saturday. It was good. I think it dd help my knee. I did though have to share the spa with a group of boys that may or may not have been first fifteen rugby boys. I felt like their Mum. They were a nice group of boys though - too focussed on their coach telling them to get in the spa, the pool and the sauna, as some form of conditioning. I think I looked at te boys puzzled - they looked at me puzzled. But it was OK actually!
Friday, May 18, 2012
Mistakes
Today I made stuuuuuuuupid dumb mistakes at work - like the most basic of typos in a contract letter with a provider. An embarasssingly one for my employer if it had gone to the provider. Embarassing enough for me to have made it. I also made another simple and easy task much more complicated than it needed to be.
An unintended consequence of the stress at work, I guess. I go dyslexic. I just cant see the stuff.
Yeah, maybe there is a metaphor there - sometimes I just can't see stuff until it is too late.
As hazy as some things may be, and aside from the fact that I really did make mistakes today, I am confident in my asssessment of the man I was angry with. He has a dark side. I just never saw it.
I have a weak side, and he has exposed it. These two things coming together, well...I can only hope that the fact that is resulting in a lot of self reflection, does eventually result in a better outcome in terms of the wider journery
.Anyway, this is what happens when I don't execise for FOUR weeks, I spin out. Things don't quite align.
I am no longer angry about the stuff - I've made the decision to no longer fight but o "surrender" Sometimes thats the best way to win a fight. It is what I have to do. And as much as I think I'm 100% cool with it, there is still something kicking around in my soul and body that is clearly unsettled.
The only thing I must fight for now, is to regroup myself, get back into training, and find the right space and place I'm meant to be in.
The knee is better. If I an fix my tyre (again) I might actually try a ride for a few km this weekend.
Definitely will get get a swim in on Sunday.
Anyhow, not the best of days today. And will come as no surprise given the above, I didn't get to Bodybalance!
An unintended consequence of the stress at work, I guess. I go dyslexic. I just cant see the stuff.
Yeah, maybe there is a metaphor there - sometimes I just can't see stuff until it is too late.
As hazy as some things may be, and aside from the fact that I really did make mistakes today, I am confident in my asssessment of the man I was angry with. He has a dark side. I just never saw it.
I have a weak side, and he has exposed it. These two things coming together, well...I can only hope that the fact that is resulting in a lot of self reflection, does eventually result in a better outcome in terms of the wider journery
.Anyway, this is what happens when I don't execise for FOUR weeks, I spin out. Things don't quite align.
I am no longer angry about the stuff - I've made the decision to no longer fight but o "surrender" Sometimes thats the best way to win a fight. It is what I have to do. And as much as I think I'm 100% cool with it, there is still something kicking around in my soul and body that is clearly unsettled.
The only thing I must fight for now, is to regroup myself, get back into training, and find the right space and place I'm meant to be in.
The knee is better. If I an fix my tyre (again) I might actually try a ride for a few km this weekend.
Definitely will get get a swim in on Sunday.
Anyhow, not the best of days today. And will come as no surprise given the above, I didn't get to Bodybalance!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Train Conversation
Overhead train conversation this morning.
Any resemblance of descriptors to real life people and conversation are purely coincidental
PSA Union Man who gets on at Featherston: So I was reading Ecclestsiastes last night
Belly dancing VUW Canadian Counsellor lady who gets on at Greytown: Oh, so that's the Bible right?
PSA Union Man: Yeah, that's right
.
The thing is a) I so did not think the PSA man was a Christian
b) I needed to be reminded of Ecclesiastes. My favourites Chapetr is 3: A Time for Everything,
c) the way the PSA mana dropped in the reference to his reading , was like he was reflecting on a novel or a Tv programme he had watched last night.
Then he shared with excitement what he was having for lunch: celery. And so moving on from Ecclestiates for about 5 mins they discussed how wonderful celery was!
So, I'm revisiting Ecclesiastes and trying to keep in mind Jeremiah 29:11
For i know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord - plans for you to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future...
So biblical reference today thanks to the inspiration of the PSA man....a most unexpected source.
Knee slowly healing. Might actually make it to Body Balance this Friday
Any resemblance of descriptors to real life people and conversation are purely coincidental
PSA Union Man who gets on at Featherston: So I was reading Ecclestsiastes last night
Belly dancing VUW Canadian Counsellor lady who gets on at Greytown: Oh, so that's the Bible right?
PSA Union Man: Yeah, that's right
.
The thing is a) I so did not think the PSA man was a Christian
b) I needed to be reminded of Ecclesiastes. My favourites Chapetr is 3: A Time for Everything,
c) the way the PSA mana dropped in the reference to his reading , was like he was reflecting on a novel or a Tv programme he had watched last night.
Then he shared with excitement what he was having for lunch: celery. And so moving on from Ecclestiates for about 5 mins they discussed how wonderful celery was!
So, I'm revisiting Ecclesiastes and trying to keep in mind Jeremiah 29:11
For i know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord - plans for you to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future...
So biblical reference today thanks to the inspiration of the PSA man....a most unexpected source.
Knee slowly healing. Might actually make it to Body Balance this Friday
Monday, May 14, 2012
Pull down
Made it to the gym today. First time I think in about 3 weeks. Didn't actually do a lot! Did a few lat pull down sets and some other arms exercises, a few sets of sit ups and some stretches. Did a few leg things on the lowest of leg weights, and good feel the pinch. Even still walking up the gym stairs.
Still that's more than any other lunchtime over the last 3 weeks. Felt strange not to be getting changed for rpm. But good to be in the positive environment of the gym.
When I was in the stretching area, which I note can get rather cramped at peak hour lunch time, the PT man came with a client and located himself, with his client, next to me. I guess it was the most logical space in terms of space available. And then....he massaged his clients leg. Just where I would quite like mine massaged. And in that moment I had massage envy! if there is such a thing. Although it was tempered to a degree that it was the PT man. Although he looked like he knew what he was doing.
My colleague who I sit next door to at work is a Feldenkrais practitioner. She has offered to do something for my knee. Probably not as manipulative as the PT. Anyway, I think she is OK so I amy let her!
As for the meeting that occcured today. It was Ok. I think my points are understood as valid in terms of the process or lack of process that has occured. I realised today I am a little bit angry with certain people. Anger that I think is justified. But there is no use hanging onto that anger. It's happened. I'm pissed at certain aspects, but I said (on this blog!) if it came down to principles then I would stand by them. That's what I did. The consequence is my contract wont be renewed, when it could have been. But I just have to remember, it was only ever meant to be a short term gig. And in leaving, it frees me up for other stuff, even if I don't know what that stuff is.
I see there is a Goethe Inst/Listener comp on to write a modern fairy tale based on the Grimm brothers. I might give it a go! Fairy tales normally have three of something in eg three little pigs. Hmm, I might try and make it a sort of updated version of Gliding On but in a fairy tale/Grimms brothers format. Might keep me amused, and I reckon I could make it work. Must check when the closing date is.
In the meantime, now I focus seriously on healing my leg, and not using my energy on anger, but on finding a job that will pay my mortgage.
Still that's more than any other lunchtime over the last 3 weeks. Felt strange not to be getting changed for rpm. But good to be in the positive environment of the gym.
When I was in the stretching area, which I note can get rather cramped at peak hour lunch time, the PT man came with a client and located himself, with his client, next to me. I guess it was the most logical space in terms of space available. And then....he massaged his clients leg. Just where I would quite like mine massaged. And in that moment I had massage envy! if there is such a thing. Although it was tempered to a degree that it was the PT man. Although he looked like he knew what he was doing.
My colleague who I sit next door to at work is a Feldenkrais practitioner. She has offered to do something for my knee. Probably not as manipulative as the PT. Anyway, I think she is OK so I amy let her!
As for the meeting that occcured today. It was Ok. I think my points are understood as valid in terms of the process or lack of process that has occured. I realised today I am a little bit angry with certain people. Anger that I think is justified. But there is no use hanging onto that anger. It's happened. I'm pissed at certain aspects, but I said (on this blog!) if it came down to principles then I would stand by them. That's what I did. The consequence is my contract wont be renewed, when it could have been. But I just have to remember, it was only ever meant to be a short term gig. And in leaving, it frees me up for other stuff, even if I don't know what that stuff is.
I see there is a Goethe Inst/Listener comp on to write a modern fairy tale based on the Grimm brothers. I might give it a go! Fairy tales normally have three of something in eg three little pigs. Hmm, I might try and make it a sort of updated version of Gliding On but in a fairy tale/Grimms brothers format. Might keep me amused, and I reckon I could make it work. Must check when the closing date is.
In the meantime, now I focus seriously on healing my leg, and not using my energy on anger, but on finding a job that will pay my mortgage.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Never, Ever Give Up.
Missing my Sunday rides. But taking inspiration from this.
This guy looks like how I feel when I do Body Balance.
Also, it serves as a reminder not to focus on what my knee can currently not do, but what it can.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Less sure
today, I'll make it to 30th June work wise.
meeting on Monday to "discuss".
Initial goal is to make it to 30 May.
Wonder if the stress is inhibiting progress on my knee healing. Will put some arnica on it this weekend. Maybe that will help.
Nearly 3 week mark. No gym and diet is *whack*
Will try and get some short walks in, and some decent gardening i at the weekend.
Witnessed a bike nearly get hit by a truck near Astoria this morning. The truck was definitely at fault. The cyclist managed to click out of his cleats. If I'd be riding his bike I would be dead. Felt for the cyclist, and admired his angry outburst at the truck driver as he pointed out a few facts.
Could completely understand though, it was a very very close call.
Oh well, 2 days respite from the work stuff, although the reality of work related stuff being on the mind will be present.
meeting on Monday to "discuss".
Initial goal is to make it to 30 May.
Wonder if the stress is inhibiting progress on my knee healing. Will put some arnica on it this weekend. Maybe that will help.
Nearly 3 week mark. No gym and diet is *whack*
Will try and get some short walks in, and some decent gardening i at the weekend.
Witnessed a bike nearly get hit by a truck near Astoria this morning. The truck was definitely at fault. The cyclist managed to click out of his cleats. If I'd be riding his bike I would be dead. Felt for the cyclist, and admired his angry outburst at the truck driver as he pointed out a few facts.
Could completely understand though, it was a very very close call.
Oh well, 2 days respite from the work stuff, although the reality of work related stuff being on the mind will be present.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Whanau hui
so apparently the way to resolve a f-wit project manager at work casuing havoc etc is to convene a whanau hui. Oh Lordy, I respect hugely some of my colleagues, but sometimes on days like today I feel like the Headmaster has just called a meeting of the naughty and not so naughty (unfortunately I do not consider myself naughty) teachers and students.
Oh hello, that maybe becasue an ex headmaster has convened a meeting - with some ex teachers and students aka my colleagues.
I guess we all have own point of referecne for dealing with such matters.
Part of this makes me laugh and part of it makes me sad, becasue the person causing the havoc doesn't appear to have any sense of remorse about it all.
There is though a certain relief. I am actually, unfortunately through past experience quite good at dealing with this s***. And I feel confident now I can at least keep my contract until 30 June. Beyond that, there remains uncertainty. But at least dealing through process with this stuff buys me time.
Thats why I am a person who likes process and *rules*
It makes me very sad that its close on 3 weeks and my knee it is not healing!
Contemplating going to rpm tomorrow despite my injury. Maybe I could just sit in the dark and listen to some nice music :-) Haha~!
Oh hello, that maybe becasue an ex headmaster has convened a meeting - with some ex teachers and students aka my colleagues.
I guess we all have own point of referecne for dealing with such matters.
Part of this makes me laugh and part of it makes me sad, becasue the person causing the havoc doesn't appear to have any sense of remorse about it all.
There is though a certain relief. I am actually, unfortunately through past experience quite good at dealing with this s***. And I feel confident now I can at least keep my contract until 30 June. Beyond that, there remains uncertainty. But at least dealing through process with this stuff buys me time.
Thats why I am a person who likes process and *rules*
It makes me very sad that its close on 3 weeks and my knee it is not healing!
Contemplating going to rpm tomorrow despite my injury. Maybe I could just sit in the dark and listen to some nice music :-) Haha~!
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Wednesday
Better day than yesterday.
Knee still healing - slower than I had hoped for. Physiotherapy may have been a good idea. The cold snap weather wise seems to be slowing it down to - and properly a lack of additional movement other than walking.
Calm before the storm feeling.
Today I raised a few issues at work. That whole choice and consequence thing. I've made a choice though I can live with the consequence of the decision I made today, re making my concerns more formalised.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose" to quote Janis Joplin
Knee still healing - slower than I had hoped for. Physiotherapy may have been a good idea. The cold snap weather wise seems to be slowing it down to - and properly a lack of additional movement other than walking.
Calm before the storm feeling.
Today I raised a few issues at work. That whole choice and consequence thing. I've made a choice though I can live with the consequence of the decision I made today, re making my concerns more formalised.
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to loose" to quote Janis Joplin
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Stink
Stink day at work today, VERY STINK.
Nearly walked out. Not to return.
I did walk out, went to the KM park
and
Cried.
Then I walked back.
-------
The highlight of today though was meeting J. We worked together at Hutt Valley DHB. Haven't seen each other for close on 20 years. She followed her heart and her passion. It was good to be reminded of that today of all days.
We are going to catch up proper soon. Yeah, my dr would call it a divine appointment. I think it was actually. Had a few divine appointments today. It is those that are getting me thru at the moment in the absence of decent workouts.
Wish my knee would heal FASTER. HARDER AND FASTER!
Nearly walked out. Not to return.
I did walk out, went to the KM park
and
Cried.
Then I walked back.
-------
The highlight of today though was meeting J. We worked together at Hutt Valley DHB. Haven't seen each other for close on 20 years. She followed her heart and her passion. It was good to be reminded of that today of all days.
We are going to catch up proper soon. Yeah, my dr would call it a divine appointment. I think it was actually. Had a few divine appointments today. It is those that are getting me thru at the moment in the absence of decent workouts.
Wish my knee would heal FASTER. HARDER AND FASTER!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Full Moon
Looks pretty awesome tonight. Reminds me of this song:
ow.ly
A beautifully-engineered and highly-efficient mini-pump, with some clever features and a fair price tag
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Bath
I find the best way to check the status of my knee is in the bath. For some reason I can feel in comparison to my other knee exactly what the difference is and where the swelling remains. The verdict being there is still swelling. I'm not sure why I can't feel it exactly the same when I lie on the couch in exactly the same position. There remains "golf ball" swelling....
On Friday I nearly got run over by a bus. Seriously. Admitedly I was running a red light. and the bus was beeping. Still, I actually think it was uncalled for to accelerate at me?!!! Anyway, it made me realise I could move "at speed" if required for the necessary 10 metre sprint not to get run over. Despite that its not fully healed yet.
So, not ready to go for weekend rides.
Besides. I need to change the front tyre on my bike - again...before I can ride again. This time I will double check there are no obstructions in the tyre.
I will get back to the gym this week. I'll assess on Monday whether I think I can do RPM. If I don't think its a good idea, I'll definitely do some weights, as not only do I need to get back on "programme". I really do need to manage the stress re my job, and the prospect of finding a new one within 4 pay days. Doable, but still stressful, unless the Eye of The Tiger adrenalin thing ignited - which currently it is not.
I will though get back to the gym this week.
On Friday I nearly got run over by a bus. Seriously. Admitedly I was running a red light. and the bus was beeping. Still, I actually think it was uncalled for to accelerate at me?!!! Anyway, it made me realise I could move "at speed" if required for the necessary 10 metre sprint not to get run over. Despite that its not fully healed yet.
So, not ready to go for weekend rides.
Besides. I need to change the front tyre on my bike - again...before I can ride again. This time I will double check there are no obstructions in the tyre.
I will get back to the gym this week. I'll assess on Monday whether I think I can do RPM. If I don't think its a good idea, I'll definitely do some weights, as not only do I need to get back on "programme". I really do need to manage the stress re my job, and the prospect of finding a new one within 4 pay days. Doable, but still stressful, unless the Eye of The Tiger adrenalin thing ignited - which currently it is not.
I will though get back to the gym this week.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
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