Oh my gosh, this is one of my longer posts ;-) ....
Today was a good day. Pretty much most days are now :-) In fact, I've noticed that when people ask me how I am, even the "supermarket people" I don't say OK or good anymore, I say "very good" or "very well":-) I'm working up to saying I'm beautiful and gorgous in response to the question. That could be quite fun. I wonder how random strangers would respond to that?!!!!
My contract expired today. As I indicated on the blog, I was hopeful that I may get the offer of a new contract. I knew a reccommendation had gone through for approval to the Dep Sec, and my managers and Group Manager were supportive. But until you see the paperwork, you know, nothing is certain, gauranteed or locked in. It meant I had to "hold the line" - a term Mr M and I used to use when we worked on the Adventure Tourism Review together. No big deal holding the line, acting composed. Not these days. Once though, this would have totally stressed me. So, ok, I did eat too many giant jaffas and a couple of additional afghans. But in the wider context of things, I can live with that. I jokingly said, in the last couple of days, "its ok, I've got until 5 o'clock on Friday." The signed paperwork came back about 4.45pm!
My status will change from Contractor to fixed term for 7 months, and I'll be appointed as a Lead Advisor. I feel totally blessed and thankful for this. It means I'll continue to work with CH (who is my unoffical bike mentor) and LT (the man with over 50 pairs of jeans). These two people are so awesome. I have immense respect for them professionally and personally. If I was creating my perfect team and people to work with - they would be "on the list" ;-) The other members in the team are cool and great to work with too, but these two people, they exemplify how I want to operate professionally and personally.
Anyway I had to stay in my current workplace, because CH is the "watch lady". Remember: I have a goal to get to goal weight, those five things, and get a new watch. I've now got 7 months to do that! AND I WILL. I can beat myself up that I didn't get there in the last year, not there for Taupo, or I can adopt Marios advice, the more time in the saddle, I'll get there. I am though as of today setting 18 June next year (my birthday) as the target date for being 65kg. That's a very long way to go still. But I don't beat myself up anymore, I think: great, I've layed good and solid foundations over 2011, and in 2012 I bring the results home. That's why I love working with LH and CH. That's exactly how they would frame things. Positivity breeds positivity. Also, they have totally nailed work/life balance :-)
No workout today. Also, no jaffas – although I did have a chocolate digestive biscuit off the table, and an afghan in the afternoon. Big stuff (journeys) planned for the weekend, so instead I sat in the sun in parliament grounds, looked at the flowering cabbage trees, tuis enjoying the flaxes, and felt the warmth of the sun, and it felt good to be alive - it's my urban Wellington burecratic thing of "going bush" when I need to stay "composed".
Something I need to comment on: Today I met C at Astoria. I was there with my usual coffee companion, waiting for my usual long black at the counter. Then there was a nudge on my elbow. “Remember me ?”, she asked. I looked into her eyes. How could I ever forget? Her eyes were sparkling and alive with life. Her voice familar, even though I hadn't heard it for years. Sounds like an opening line from a Mills and Boon novel eh?! It’s not intended to be. And C is so not Mills and Boon material! – more B&D from what she wrote back in the 90s!
C and I were in the same “writing class” back in 1997 – so 14 years ago. That was a pretty special class with some special people. I guess through our writing we got to know each other quite well, at that time. Our paths have crossed a little, professionally through health related work – arguably working with people who some people would say are on the "edge" of certain sectors. I know there are threads in our personal life, where we share common ground too. Other than that, we are probably from completely different worlds (or, maybe not!). We’ve maybe seen each other at say a film festival or arts festival gig.
I don’t actually know C that well. But 14 years later, I can remember the stuff she used to write about and some of the stuff we talked about. C’s still makinga living from her writing and film making. She always had this ability to give me that “nudge” – more than just in the physical sense. I told her I wasn’t writing when she asked. It’s not that the blog doesn’t count because it does. But it’s not writing“writing”. She asked me who I was living with, and I said “a black cat”! so, that's what I mean when I say “nudge” - also, the "why did you give up writing?" question.
C is incredibly strong in that way some women need to be and are. I’m not talking physical strength here, although today she did look strong. I’m talking that ability to live life, and love, even though various crap is encountered along the way – which has a nice layer to it given today she told me one of her jobs is now working with terminally ill patients at the Hospice. C reminds me of this song (which is an absolute favourite because or work and non work reasons, other than just being a favourite) because she has totally "lived" this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRIm5ufzMd4&ob=av2e
I think in my heart, there is the desire to return to work with "people on the edge of the universe". But I know I still have to work on my own strength and wellbeing to be able to do that justice.
So, that was today. A very beautiful and gorgous day. Another day moving forward :-)
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