It's a new year

Tihei mauri ora! - Welcome 2012.

It's fair to say, I've started the year slightly agitated, due to my border issues with my neighbour.  It's a minor thing in the wider scheme of things that can create stress for me. Primarily because the said neighbour brutally attacked my tree a few years ago without any remorse.  So, its a simmering thing that I knew would resurface at some point.  I get agitated by it though, because it makes me feel I am being taken advantage of.  It highights for me a number of things.  I feel I am being taken advantage of becasue I am "a woman living alone".  Then there is the fundamental thing of my neighbours don't communicate with me.  I'm actually quite shy, but then I remember this really good line that that this lady who I respect gave me.  Shyness is just an excuse, so you need to get over it and not let it be a barrier.   Anyway, I'm agitated, because I kind of think that if I was stronger, I would be much more assertive.  Instead it triggers the passive aggressive tendencies.

It also agitates me becasue aside from being an eccentric gardener, who can let parts of my garden grow, I consider I'm the perfect neighbour.  I'm away in Wellington half the time, I don't play loud music, I keep to myself.  I like my privacy.  To me privacy is ultimate.  To me its not a big ask.  Like my other neighbour, the writer/editor lady - we live alone, we like privacy.  Some people just don't get it.  Heck her grass is longer than mine!

This makes me calmer though:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhxIjRO6WjI

I haven't been on my bike for weeks. Weeks. Eeek.  It rained today, and I was, as above agitated.  The agitation is probably acclerated by the fact that I haven't had any serious exercise for weeks.

Today is a new day, and new year.

Feels slightly odd really, to be honest.  Are my goals and dreams just castles in the air kind of feeling.  Like, why should be this be the year be the best year of my life? That's OK.  I guess it signals a certain level of apprehension about the "change" process.  That's OK.  The thing is I acknowledge I do have goals, dreams, and desires. As long as at some point, once physical change starts to take effect, that apprehension shifts to anticipation and excitement, and that feeling that "yes, I'm nailing this", and finally "yeah, I nailed it"  ;-)

So, that's the start to the new year.   I don't want to live in a state of agitation.  Things can only get better!!!