Headwinds

Another educational day...So, yeah the last few months have been pretty stressful at work.  And the last month has been stressful at work, and stressful personally, because I haven't been relieving that stress physically through rpm and the gym.

Today, though it felt like I was no longer riding against the wind - that somehow the wind was finally on my back.

The man with 50 pair of jeans and I had a 1:1.  It's fair to say I've been at times angry and pisssed off with over the last few weeks, and I still consider him a "naughty" social worker - who likes the circle of chaos and then solving it, but we had a bit of a reconsilatory session today, and that was good because I was able to see all his good qualities again - and his good qualities are good.  Basically, I think he conceded that some of the project managers behaviour has been unacceptable and unprofessional, and that I have been caught in the crosswinds of it all.

I found myself saying to the man with 50 pairs of jeans, I didn't care what the project manager thought of me, and no obligation to defend myself or work history to her, after the meeting we had on Tuesday where she was rude and showed no respect - not even to agree to disagree.  The weird thing is, that felt so empowering to say that. Cos it was like I wasn't saying stuff about the project manager, it was more in saying I know who I am, I know what's important to me, and what I value.  Not what I don't respect.  But rather what I do.  And you know, that's where the man with 50 pairs of jeans is good.  He created that opportunity to allow me to say that, and it felt far more empowering than I ever thought it would, so you know, I'm grateful for that.

I said I did actually care what the man with 50 pairs of jeans thinks and other people think.

Later in the day the colleague I respect most advised she has secured a secondment.   It potentially opens some possibility to stay with the team I am working with.  I am not sure how I feel about that.

I'll take it day by day.  My colleague in any case is going on a months leave riding her bike in Cambodia! 

Had lunch with J, who actually worked in Cambodia for quite a few years.  We worked together at Hutt Valley Health.  Weird, but it was nice to hear her voice, see her properly for lunch after several years.   I;m not sure completely why.  Part of it though is reminding me of a time when I was more connected to my creative side, and that also corresponded with being the last time I was actually almost a weight I would be happy with.  It was good to make those connects.

Pretty stuffed now after today!  Will keep some decent sleep now, and RESOLVED to FINALLY get to Body Balance tomorrow.