I went to see my Frau Doktor today. So I describe how for at least a couple of weeks it felt like I had a golf ball behind my knee - but now its like a giant marble. She says "oh, you must have had a cyst". Like, kia ora for that Dr. She asks if it has popped. Ah no. Anyway, that probably explains why the knee has taken a little longer to heal.
But anyway, it's not all about the physical healing right now. It's about managing my mental and spiritual health. So, the consult did help in that respect. Cos yeah it is about holistic health.
I had a full on 1:3 meeting today at work - that's me, two managers and the project manager discussing how we work together. Crikey. It was supposed to be the whanau hui meeting, but the project manager, and the managers changed the rules. Anyway, I handled it ok, in fact I was prettty proud of myself re how I handled it. Once I let go of the turmoil and angst I can actaully do those meetings. Although its not really a competeny I wish to gain experience. Although its basic relationship management. So I suppose it does strengthen that competency.
The only positive outcome is the project manager revealed their true colours. Is that a victory? No, not really. The victory for me today is only in that I kept as much to my own rules of work - re keeping it to the issues and not the person...
I also had lunch with my colleague who I have a lot of repsect for. That was good becasue we went to KM park and just talked. And that helped me to keep perspective on my "wig out" last Friday. She recognised it was a sympton of the stress I have been under - we have both been under stress. But you know, in the weeks that have been, it helps to be reminded that ok Friday was a bad day, but overall not a reflection of my competence. I needed to hear that, beasue it is easy to let self doubt creep in.
Should have a free lunchtime tomorrow. Probably wont make it to rpm. But do intened to make it to the gym.
My heart beat faster when my colleague and I walked to KM park. There was a group doing outside boxing. And I thought, yeah, I'd love to be doing that. I said that to my colleague. But I don't think she actually realised how seriously I was about that!
Although I don't need to box right now to get rid of the anger, its just pure physical release where the boxing thing helps, and the rhythm required to do it well.
A reminder though I love that stuff, and also I do actually need to "box clever" re seeing my contract out.
Oh yeah, I missed an entry at the weekend. Went for a swim at Masterton last Saturday. It was good. I think it dd help my knee. I did though have to share the spa with a group of boys that may or may not have been first fifteen rugby boys. I felt like their Mum. They were a nice group of boys though - too focussed on their coach telling them to get in the spa, the pool and the sauna, as some form of conditioning. I think I looked at te boys puzzled - they looked at me puzzled. But it was OK actually!
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